I’m a pretty fast learner. During my first year of college study I picked up on the fact that most of the women that were in the pubs and taverns around the university had boyfriends. But they had very cheap boyfriends and the scam worked like this…
A good looking woman would come over to me and start talking. Then she’d ask me to buy her a drink. After I paid for the drink she would take a sip or two and as soon as I asked for her phone number her boyfriend would show up. I quickly acknowledged that this is not a playing field that I could play on and win. Almost all the guys were better looking than me and it was painful but many a girl said they don’t go out with short, fat, funny looking guys, a category I fit very nicely into.
Instead of getting depressed and having a pity party for myself I gave the situation a tremendous amount of thought and came up with a wonderful solution. I would sign up for “Modern Dance 101”
Here I am in an auditorium filled with beautiful girls in tutu’s and leg warmers. Except for the instructor I was the only male in the auditorium, standing there in my required tights, sweatshirt and sweatband.
At first several of the girls in the class thought I was gay. Then they realized that I was taking the class out of desperation to get a date. They respected me for that! In fact they were impressed that I would go to such lengths to get a date.
Yes I was desperate and I very much wanted to check out some of the women. And of course there was an exercise that helped me in that regard. Our instructor told us to form a line on one side of the room. One at a time, we would “create our own choreography" and dance over to the other side of the room. When we got to the other side of the room it was mandatory to “connect” yourself to the person standing next to you and the next dancer that came dancing across the room after you. The rules were you could put one hand on each person anywhere you wanted but you could not hold or touch hands or arms.
The music was intense, my heart was pounding, my feet were doing their fancy foot work and being a smart ass as soon as I was standing next to the girl with the biggest breasts in the class I put my hand on one breast and held on to it as instructed. Oh what a feeling! The young lady did not appreciate it and returned the favor grabbing my crotch and giving me a very painful squeeze.
So here I am holding onto a breast and getting my crotch squeezed and you’d think that I’d learn my lesson. The next girl comes waltzing across the room and I connect with her by grabbing her ass. Whereupon she returns the favor and grabs my ass in the same way.
After we are all “linked” together the dance instructor tells us to imagine ourselves as a car engine starting up on a cold morning and to move in a manner to demonstrate that action but that we were NOT allowed to separate, we had to hold onto each other and move while holding on. All I remember is some intense gyrating and squeezing and I wound up on the floor with a very painful crotch.
That life lesson impacted me in several ways, 1. I became very respectful of the opposite sexes body parts and didn’t touch without permission, 2. because of the lack of competition I never had a problem getting a date with one of the girls in my dance class, and 3. I got permission to touch some body parts on occasion.