Although we were raised Jewish my older brother Larry attended a prestigious Catholic University in New York. There was a reason for this. First it was an excellent university. Second, by being Jewish and attending a Catholic University we were considered a minority. This was a good thing because by being a minority the Federal Government picked up 50% of our tuition regardless of our grades.
My brother Larry was an A student and was on the deans list. I on the other hand within days of following in my brothers foot steps into the same Catholic University achieved the distinction of being on the “OTHER” dean’s list.
My Freshman year was fairly boring as you could not join a fraternity until your Sophomore year. Naturally I joined the Nerd’s fraternity Alpha Upsilon.
I took an Earth Science class with Sister Mary Snowflake. That wasn’t her real name but that is what we called her. This was 1969 and she wore the old black habit and had the worst case of dandruff I have ever seen in my life. Every time she talked to you or moved her head it would really come down just like snow thus the name Sister Mary Snowflake.
It is hard to believe today but back then we were allowed to smoke in class as long as we provided our own ashtray. I smoked Marlboro’s back then. So here I am sitting in Earth Science class and some of the guys from the jock frat, Sigma Chi start throwing spit balls at my frat brothers and me.
Being the nerd frat we had to respond with nerd technology. Taking a paper clip I fashioned it into a Rocket Launch Pad. Then taking a match from my book of matches I proceeded to tear off a tiny strip of aluminum foil from the Marlboro box. Then carefully I would wrap the aluminum foil tightly around the sulfur match head. Leaning the match now converted into a rocket on the paper clip launch pad I took my butane lighter and heated the match head until the sulfur ignited. Remember your physics 101… for every action there is an equal reaction?! The sulfur would ignite and the gases would explode downward toward the opening of the aluminum foil and the missiles would be launched with pffsssssttttt sound and with fairly good aim would hit some of the guys from Sigma Chi.
However as with any technology accidents do happen. Our match missiles had very crude guidance systems. Several did go off course.
The smell of burning sulfur was becoming quite thick in that classroom then there was another smell, like that of smoldering cotton and maybe a touch of human hair.
I was blamed for setting Sister Mary Snowflakes habit on fire although they could never prove it.